RIP hilarious tacky Tiki garden idea

We have a really miserable corner in our backyard. It includes a spider-infested garden shed and a too-low timber fence that provides an uninspiring view into the neighbours’ horrible backyard. It also, for reasons unknown, has a WINDOW into the neighbour’s back patio.

Just in case we wanted a second look into said horrible backyard.

And I’d be all like “yeah, yeah, whatever, ugly corner, blah blah” except that our lovely new massive sliding doors in the kitchen look right out onto it. And it’s getting on my nerves.

We’ve been flirting with the idea of using some sort of bamboo cladding to cover some of it but that isn’t really going to fit in with the farmhouse-style garden I had planned for out there. Sectioning off bits of the yard is the done thing at the moment, though (Jamie Durie‘s always doing it), so my brain went “hey, no problem! Let’s make that corner into a hilarious kitsch Tiki garden!”

You know, something like this (but without the topless lady):

Image pinched from somewhere called “pinuplifestyle”. Click on the pic to actually go to their site and make me feel less bad for using their image without permission…

Topless ladies notwithstanding, however, my partner has very gently told me that he absolutely hates the idea’s guts. So we won’t be having one 😦

I’m still so excited by the idea, however, that I’m going to record it here for posterity.

First off, you’d start with the bamboo cladding slat-things. Then, you’d disguise the shed using the roll-y kind of bamboo cladding — I pinched the idea from a house that was for sale last year:

Then, plants, of course. The shed above uses ferns, bamboo and what I think are bromeliads beautifully to create that island feel; I thought we also needed some canna lillies and hibiscus, with some black mondo grass at the front here and there.

And to finish, some tiki torches and an obligatory massive tiki statue. This is non-negotiable in a ludicrous kitsch tiki garden. It brings everything together.


Then all that’s left is to imitate this lady and drink a tropical-looking drink.


No, this is not me. This photo is courtesy of a Brendan Loy on Flickr who kindly shares his photos under a creative commons license. But this is JUST THE BEHAVIOUR THAT WILL HAPPEN ON MY NEW DECK ONCE IT IS PROPERLY FURNISHED.

I even (poorly) photoshopped up a “before and after” to try and sell it to my fella:


But I won’t be having any of it (except the drinks). He hates kitsch, apparently. I wish he’d told me 12 years ago.

Ah well. Back to the drawing board… if anyone has any ideas, let me know…

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One Response to RIP hilarious tacky Tiki garden idea

  1. Pingback: Shed makeover | lisaslifelately

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