The house did not burn down

I have had, in the words of one friend, a dud week. Work was annoying. Several things at home were annoying. But this afternoon just made me laugh, possibly in the manner of a maniac.

The day started annoyingly. I had to cancel my morning pilates session (it’s remedial, I have a shit back) so that this morning, I could go BACK to the dentist; I chipped a tooth eating a sausage a fortnight ago and had to get it fixed. The filling they gave me the first time fell out after a week, so this morning, they filled it again. Possibly just as incompetently as the first time. Sigh.

Anyway, I came home, and put some eggs on to boil. I always boil eggs with an eggperfect egg timer because our bloody stovetop is so unreliable (we either end up with eggs that are still runny or totally overdone and grey) — you put the timer in the saucepan with the eggs, and it measures the actual heat, rather than just going by time.

It’s a little plastic thing that normally works great; except for those times when your partner shows you something in the other room and you get distracted and forget you’re boiling eggs in the kitchen… then you go to your mum’s for nearly an hour… and then you come back to an awful, acrid stench you can smell five metres from your front door and you burst into the house, panicking at the smoke hanging everywhere.

Apparently, in this instance, the eggperfect egg timer melts into a sticky, carcinogenic mess that renders your lovely Scanpan saucepan unusable FOREVER:

The whole house smelt really, really bad, so we opened everything up and put on every fan and airconditioner we have. In a fit of optimism, I also brought a whole heap of plants inside to soak up some of the evil toxins (plants eat toxins, you know – NASA said so).

I never appreciated before what a fine bromeliad collection we have (they all came courtesy of a bloke at work who loves to garden and they’re all still in pots because, of course, we’re waiting until the renovations are done before planting anything permanent in the ground)…

All the clean washing that was hanging in the next room waiting to be put away is going to have to be washed again; but the house did not burn down.

And we certainly couldn’t eat at home, so we had to go out for lunch 🙂

I’ve told my partner that the saucepan will make a great hat for the scarecrow I’m trying to convince him that our backyard needs… or at least, with a hole drilled in the bottom, a good pot for a plant.

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