Your improved behaviour makes me think less of you

I got a new car not too long ago. My partner had been leasing it, we liked it, and my Mondeo is over 10 years old, so we thought it would be best to just go for it. It’s a charcoal Ford Falcon G6E with chrome-y bits and, in the words of one of my colleagues, it’s “scary”.

The woman who has the spot next to me in the car park at work went to leave one day and panicked because she couldn’t see her car, behind mine — that’s how big it is, compared to my old one.

My partner now leases another G6E, but this one’s a mushroomy sort of colour (he didn’t get to choose) and it looks like a Toorak 60-something woman would drive it. Unfortunately, that’s how he is now treated on the roads. He is cut off, honked, not given way to and generally ignored. He hates it and can’t wait until he can swap it over (which he will be able to do in about six months).

I thought that he was exaggerating when he told me all of this; Melbourne traffic really does just keep getting worse, after all. But since he mentioned it, I have now noticed that I am treated with the utmost respect on the roads, when previously, in my pretty little green Mondeo, I found that no one would let me in if I needed to merge, that people would just cut me off and routinely honk me for for absolutely no reason.

Now? People give way to me. They observe waving etiquette more often. And I have not once been honked.

Since nothing about me has changed about me except for my car, this all makes me think less of them. Particularly since I need their courtesy a lot less than I did before, since I now have a car with a bit of grunt.

So, drivers of Melbourne, just so you know — your improved behaviour makes me think less of you. How often can someone say that?

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